i must be getting old

sooo.. some korean pop music for you..

a lady once told me that as women get older, they slowly become attracted to younger and younger men.. this was probably around age 18 or 19 for me and i thought, ""yea right.. i will not ever go for younger guys, ever." i always wanted an older guy, maybe around the 2-4 years older range..

and then i hit my 20s..

20 years old: "i guess if he's the same age as me.. it'll still be ok"

21 years old: "whatever, 6 months younger, not so bad"

22 years old: "a year younger? no problem!"

23 years old: "2 years? ok, i guess?"

24 years old: "3 years... that's the same age as my younger brother. hmm.. i guess ok??"

25 years old: "age doesn't matter!!!" bahahahaha (ok ok i lied, i really would prefer if the guys was older and IF he is younger, try not to pass the 2 year mark??)

so what does this have to do with k-pop?

here is a new boy band called B2ST pronounced beast. the oldest is 20 and the youngest is 18. some good looking kiddies i'll say.. haha.. especially the kid named Gi-kwang, born in 1990. (thats SIX years younger!)

so.. why wasn't i born in 1990???

weight loss..

weight loss nearing 31 pounds... for those that don't know, i've gained a whopping 30 pounds during the year i worked as a night shift nurse.. not enough sleep, carbs to keep me awake, and staying up the night just lead to a bad bad combo... kind of embarrassed but posting up before and after pics.. the after pics are really really recent.. only 8 more pounds to my target weight goal!!!!! YAY!!!

before... hrmm...

btw.. that's my mom knocked out cold in the first pic..

after... whew...

one thing i've learned, water is best. seriously.

current mood for taking pics..

ive decided to grow out my hair.. (i cut it to look different, but it seems a lot of girls recently have cut their hair as well, so im growing it out)

so some pics for memories of my awesome short hair... who knows, maybe ill cut it again.. :)

all of course with the courtesy of my supposed to be awesome macbook.. i apparently got the finicky one... bad first mac experience.. :(

Ringo Starr

thought i'm glad i'm not, but if i were a teenager in the 1960's...







bahahahahahahaha..... ringo starr... :D

nashville's best

what i will remember about my time in nashville..

1. God is in control.
2. Church History is stinkin' awesome.
3. Powerbombs
4. Hawaii is overrun by asians (i definitely missed that train)
5. "oh.. reary?" - Manny the Meerkat
6. 10 miles is apparently too long of a drive...
7. it's really bigger and better in texas
8. longhorns
9. north alabama is a long drive
10. hands are on fire!!
11. the road of obedience is hard, yet satisfying
12. what is "frik"? :)
13. somehow, i can withstand the hottness in florida, yet couldn't in tennessee
14. never driving 10 hours again
15. pride and prejudice is never enough without teas and scones :)
16. don't do the dishes so i don't get yelled at
17. pride comes before the fall.. pride got the best of me
18. amazing people
19. mountains, not hills, mountains
20. long line for... yes.. pancakes
21. So.. you think you can dance??? (apparently Philip couldn't and evan could..)
22. Michael Jackson's death
23. awesome roommates who make awesome food. my lunches were great!
24. awesome Pastor Paul and boss Morgan Stephens
25. babies!! kherington, finley, jesse.. and BOYS! jude, jack, and jase!! :)
26. Chili's
27. weekly visits to Korea house and Uhwoolim..
28. "sh**al"
29. direct TV!!!
30. passion for God's Kingdom

quick update..

i am in nashville, tn!!! whohoo.. been here about two.5 weeks.. and it is amazing. learning new stuff, making new friends. i am challenged every single day here. and i started noticing how "lazy" i had become the few months leading up to school.

wait.. let me backtrack for those who don't know. I am at the Every Nation School of Ministry here in Nashville, TN. It is a two month long intensive study program to help you prepare for field ministry, mostly in campus or youth ministry. But, you can come here for other ministries AND you can also come if you think you might want to go to ministry later, OR you just don't know what you want to do with life and just want some cool insight as to who God is. This school is for EVERYBODY. Student, non-student, worker. you name it. BUT, it's purpose is to train and equip for ministry.

i am here studying and learning some amazing stuff. (i.e. THE BIBLE IS NOT WRITTEN FOR YOU) i'm not a heretic, it's true. you wanna talk about it, let me know. Learning real eye opening stuff and its just plain cool! BUT, i did notice my laziness trying to creep in while i am here. Realized the hard way that once you break a discipline, it is hard to regain that back, even if you are in ministry school! once you slowly let go, your heart begins to harden, little by little until you have to chip away at it again, maybe even longer this time around because you let it grow so much. SO.. keep reading your Bibles, keep praying and CONVERSING with God. don't let it become a chore and don't let it slip out of your daily routine. otherwise, you will be called on here at the school for questions pertaining to said Bible and you will be stuck without an answer leading to a red face and conviction to spend more time with God. HA! :)

on another note, i find it so awesome to be around people who will be, or maybe, or even just contemplaing, on doing the same things i am, BUT AROUND THE WORLD!

anyways, ill try to update more. there is A LOT of work to be done here. as in, we read three books at a time, write sermons, memorize information, prepare for daily reviews (i.e. standing in front of the class until you get the answer right OR competing with other students to see who can say the information quicker) yea i got a lot to do.

hmm..

what a weird place i am in. i am talking about where i fit in in this phase of my life. this season of my life is weird. don't get me wrong, i am learning and i know why God is putting me through this season (as hard as it is). but overall, it is definitely odd. i think it is because i am in a place with no real sense of "identity" to describe me. all i have is an overall dependance on God. really, nothing else defines who i am at this particular moment. what i mean is, MPD (ministry of partnership development i.e. fundraising) is my job. but not your "typical" job and REALLY different from what i used to be identified with.. NURSE. also, the days aren't really filled with stuff to do other than the occasional, and i mean occasional, MPD appointment or going to help my parents at the cleaners. also, all of you know but i ended a relationship back in january. so i used to defined as someone's "girlfriend" but now, i'm just me. now don't get me wrong, i am not depressed or is this post in anyway negative. i am just realizing the current state i am in and noticing how my life was so much different just 3 months ago. i guess what i am trying to say is.. this is the first time in my life that nothing, other than "I DEPEND ON GOD" defines who i am. i am completely free of doing thing in my own will. i am free from defining myself in my own strength. am i making sense? at every other point in my life, i claimed i depended on God. yet, there was always something to fall back on. for instance, nursing was hard. i worked my butt off everyday. it was a difficult season. I depended on God. I needed God. it was a time for character building, a time for growing up. yet, God wasn't the only thing to define who i am. somewhere along the way, i also sort of depended on the title "nurse". am i making more sense now? just a thought i had today about where i am, where i am going to be in three weeks, and where i will be in 6 months from now. i know my life will be totally different soon. just taking some time to soak in what God is doing right here, right now. it's good.